Feb
13
2010

Lucy
at 7:10 am
Current Mood:
Sad &
Tired
My mind is broken.
You might get sick of hearing me say that.
—– Edit: Here starts an epic over-reaction of fail. —–
I’ve managed to lose 3 friends now. The first, down to continually abusing her and taking her for granted for reasons that I still don’t know myself. She was too forgiving for her own good… until she could take no more. I upset her to the point that she couldn’t take it anymore, and managed to get a friend to come visit from the other side of the country to cheer her up.
I upset #1 to the point that her housemate, friend number 2, pretty much told me in as public an online place as possible to stay away from them. The implication seemed to be that I’m not really welcome round their house anymore (or at least, that’s how I feel). Friend 3… I haven’t technically lost, but as #2 and #3 are for most purposes the same person, and being banished from #2’s house means I’m unlikely to really see #3… I’ve essentially lost #3 as well.
I don’t know how it took so long for them to realise I wasn’t worth staying friends with.
I have no right to complain, and yet I do anyway.
—– Edit: Here ends the epic over-reaction of fail. —–
I very nearly lost another one tonight, and trying to make sure I don’t is the reason I’m still awake at ultra-ridiculous o’clock.
And I know there are more to come.
Several people in person don’t even try to hide the fact that they don’t really like me. And I have been informed by one of the few people left that I trust that several people have been saying really bad stuff about me. I do not know the identity of these people, but it is becoming really hard for this person to stick up for me, because all that results from that is these people telling her how evil and vindictive I am and that I should not be trusted and how I’ve got her wrapped around my little finger. I’m starting to believe some of that stuff myself. I wish I knew who these people were, but apparently knowing would make it worse than suspecting a lot of people (I’ve got a short list of approximately one person it could be, but I know there were several).
—– Edit: Here starts an appendix to the previous epic over-reaction of fail. —–
I imagine the people in question stopped reading my blog long ago. #1 must have stopped a while ago, and an attitude like #2’s builds up over time. But even so, I imagine that some of them might find this post anyway. I hope they don’t. I don’t want them to comment on here and attempt to portray me even worse than I am already doing.
—– Edit: Here ends the appendix to the previous epic over-reaction of fail. —–
In other news…
I was supposed to clean the bathroom over 7 hours ago, but I dare not sign off for fear that it’ll be seen as an excuse so that I can run away, and I’ll end up losing that other friend.