CopyPaste: Love is a ‘doing’ word

Sometimes I read other peoples blogs and want to share posts with others; this is what the Microblog is for. The problem with this though is that there is no way of seperating interesting things from really really interesting things. So, I present to you what may become a regular feature: CopyPaste! It should be pretty obvious how this works: I find something, I copy it, I paste it. Sometimes I may comment on it too!

So here is the first of these. From Among the Ivory Stars

This is a rant and a vent and whatever else you want to call it about the abuse of the word love and of frequently empty words and phrases like “I care” and “I’m here for you”.

(This is not to say I’m blameless. I’m definitely not blameless. But I think this is important. I’m aware of things that I say that aren’t as true as I want them to be, and I’ve resolved to never treat people passively and always with honesty. That’s a start, right?)

“I’m here for you” has almost become one of those automatic responses. “I’m here for you”, people say, and then go about their business and forget about what that means, because the truth is they’re not really there for you… they just felt like they ought to be, and in that instant they wanted to be and believed that they could be. It’s not that I think it’s unkind to say it and then not demonstrate it. I’ve no doubt that at the time they were sympathetic and felt a glimmer of compassion, but I also think that if they were really there for you then you’d KNOW. You’d know. And they wouldn’t even have to say those words at all. Because they’d be showing you that they are, and there would be no mistaking it.

Saying words does not make them true.

How many “I love you”s and “I care about you”s are met with a silent, fragile “…do you?”…?

I think there’s a vast difference between feeling a feeling of love for someone and actually LOVING someone.

Love is a doing word. It commands action. That is what gives it meaning.

Too much of this world is just words. Words words words words words. Big words with no heart.

I find it very difficult to trust words because words themselves are only symbols, and they are not always true.

I’m deeply sorry and ashamed for all the times when I failed to be there after saying that I would be.

I know that there are many friends who I have failed in this way, by being passive and not taking action.

Love is not waiting, waiting, waiting… Love isn’t waiting for someone to come to YOU for help when they are hurt – Love is reaching out your hand to theirs and showing them that they are not alone and never will be as long as there is breath in your body.

So that when you say “I love you”, they believe it and understand it and it makes a difference to their world.

We have to take responsibility not only for our words but also for what our words are really saying and meaning.

p.s. This is not directed at any one of MY friends! It’s a general rant, sparked by some ongoing thoughts over the past week. I know that you are there for me, in a very real sense… And I love you. Lots. And I will strive to be there for you.